My personal plan is to leave this world a better place than I found it.
I will leave a legacy of Love and Inspiration by modeling a madly blissful lifestyle built on possibility & positivity, grace & charm, wit & wisdom, great health & great wealth. My legacy of leadership includes kindness, creativity, respect & enthusiasm for all forms of life.
I believe in the invisible web that unites every living thing & delivers magic to ordinary days. I believe above all intention is everything & everything is only energy that is ready, willing & able to change, as soon as we direct it to. I believe that, too, communication is key.
I know that with love all things are possible but that you must love yourself first. I know that different is good& change is inevitable and that monitoring your mindset makes miracles possible.I know that I receive what I believe and I know that castles can be built with words & we should therefore choose them carefully. I know being generous with compliments fuels two souls, yours & theirs.
My big idea is that I expect freedom, fun, communication & respect to rule each day. And yes, nice matters.
I expect you to try (at least once).
I trust in God, pink plaid & dark chocolate.
I understand that my smile is my best accessory, laughing until I cry(or snort),dancing in my car,& sunshine on my shoulder are all grand & wonderful things to be celebrated & cherished .
My wish for the world is:magic become normal, miracles be expected, & the ability to laugh uncontrollably be a measure of success. Peace will rule, different will be good, & we shall raise one another well. Personal freedom is not optional, it is expected (& allowed).
Joy, above everything, is a natural state of being & Happily Ever After is the order of the Universe.
Remember the playground game where one person stood at the front of the field and yelled directives to the reset of the kids saying things like “take six baby steps” or “you may now take three side steps and one leap backward”. You had to beg that person “May I?” He or she at the front of the line would yell back “NO, YOU MAY NOT!” It was an odd feeling to be directed by someone else’s whims.
That game was one in which the winner depended on long legs and a good ears. If you missed the assignment, you were doomed. If you were a slow grower with a short inseam, again- doomed. If you had angered the little guy named “Simon” you may as well leave the field early.
Things were really not in your control.
Unlike the game “Simon Says”, in the game of life you can be a winner regardless of who is in front of or beside you, the only person determining if you’re a winner, is YOU.
All you have to do is take personal responsibility to a new level.
Personal responsibility is when you are able to say “this life is a reflection of everything I have ever thought or given attention to”. In my group coaching is say “there is no ‘them‘”. There is no other person driving your bus. Every aspect of your life is but a hologram of your collective thoughts, past habits and patterns. Though there are players who took part in your creation, it was you who created your life.
“You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.” by Jim Rohn
To take personalresponsibility for your creation is the ultimate gold cup in personal development. As we stop blaming others and start noticing instead the images running through our mind’s eye, the voices that are chattering to us, we gain a sense of control and can begin to put together how the reality we are living truly is a mirror of the thought patterns you’ve been holding.
When you realize it’s only YOU that chose those baby steps and crab crawls it’s a tad dumfounding. It’s a big wake up call to know that there is no one “Simon” standing at the front of your life saying “take three baby steps backward and then go sideways for a half mile”. You did it because the patterns in your brain and in your subconscious mind find comfort in those missteps. It’s what you have always known.
Please, don’t feel bad about where you’re at. It’s no mistake that you’re waking up right now. Change is in the air in a big way. It’s planetary. Just decide today that what you’ve been doing hasn’t worked so far and you’re going to try something new.
Take the time now to reflect on whether or not you are blaming others for your conditions. Who do you currently blame?
For the record: It isn’t the government’s fault, nor the economy. Don’t look toward your parents or siblings, your boss or your banker. Every condition you are part of is only your mind’s creation. Your body hasn’t failed you, and your spouse isn’t to blame either.
Look deeply at the habits and patterns that have formed your life and then declare control.
It’s time now to to be your own Simon Says. Be the leader. Be the boss of yourself. If you’re ready to stop blaming and start changing, congratulations. The game of life is about to be very different for you.
You may now take ten giant steps forward.
ACTION STEP: Once you have claimed personal responsibility and honestly committed to no longer pointing the finger at others, you may find yourself needing support. It is a helpful for you to post a few reminders to yourself so that you can get in the habit of only looking inward when you dislike something about your life. Sticky notes posted on the walls and mirrors that say “I am responsible for where I’m at” or “I created this and I can change it” or “I am the Simon Says of my own life” will awaken you to redirecting your thoughts.
Take personal responsibility personally. More action steps for change, coming soon.
Author Napoleon Hill of “Think And Grow Rich” taught the laws of success and without even trying, he covered the Law of Attraction, too. In trying to spread the message of the law of attraction it’s sometimes difficult to express exactly how it works. It isn’t enough to say “like attracts like” or “thoughts become things”, though I believe those statements to be true- there is so much more to it than that. I thought it would be fun to bring together my creative talent with the concepts involved in monitoring mindset and managing miracles.
Limitations and The Law of Attraction
“The only limitations there are, are the ones you create in your mind.” This quote is a take off of one from Napoleon Hill. The quote refers to and acknowledges the power our mind’s have to fabricate barriers to our desired results.
Our brains work from the past. It’s been imprinted with neural patterns based on old habits and modeled behaviors that now dictate the way which we will think and act. We can create conflict, resistance, anxiety, problems that are not real in order that we stay comfortable in our lives.
You see, change is painful and our brain/subconscious mind know that and will do anything to stop us from experiencing it, hence, distractions, imaginary road blocks and walls that cannot be climbed. Oh, the tragedy!
Law of Attraction, Limitations and Goal Setting
All of our lives have been leading up to this moment. You awaken one day to a goal that, if achieved, will be life-changing. You are fired up. You are filled with excitement to begin taking steps toward making the dream a reality.
Then, you go for a walk. Turn on the television. You play Farmville or go to McDonald’s. (Read: you don’t take the inspired action required).
Before you know it, there it is. FEAR. Its the litany of complaints registered by the dynamic duo of your brain/mind. It is the myriad reasons why you cannot/should not/would not be, do or have your big dream.
By not taking immediate steps toward the desired end result you allowed your brain/subconscious mind to register questions and possible complaints. It created imaginary limitations because you allowed it time to search for reasons to stay the same. Your brain/subconscious mind love “status quo” and you just gave them fuel for the fire by not taking action.
Override the Law of Attraction
Limitations are a creation of your mind. The more you look at them and for them, the more of them you’ll find. Begin change by acknowledging that they are only a figment of your overactive imagination. Tell them “I see you there, Negative Nancy, but I’m just not going there with you today.” Now use the ABC’s of LOA to tackle the situation:
ATTENTION. Regularly see what it is you want. Your brain connects easily with images. Keep photos of your desired result close by so that you can train your brain what to look for. If possible, insert a picture of yourself with or next to the end goal.
BELIEFS.Use EFT to acknowledge and then release and neutralize the negative thoughts and feelings that build up as you go through this. Your mind will not stop reacting and feeding you words that derail you unless you tell it to. Using EFT, or tapping, neutralizes the pain of old memories, negative thought patterns and puts your mind and body at ease.
CONSTANT ACTION. Plan your work and work your plan: Having a dream is terrific, but not having a solid list of action steps to take to help achieve it would be foolish. Brainstorm a list of steps that you’ll need to take. When you’re tuckered out with listing ideas, put them into a prioritized order and do something daily that makes sense. You’ll eventually build some momentum and look forward to checking the steps of your list.
Stay tuned for more information about basic neuroscience as it relates to your success and the law of attraction.
Tell me in the comments below what negative pattern keeps popping up and derailing your success?
My first Tam TV episode via Spreecast included special guest speaker/intuitive coach/energy healer Julie McAllister. Her message is one of self-love and the potential we all have as human beings once we dig deep and do the work to truly love ourselves.
What a terrific first episode we had. Julie expressed the importance of self-love and how her coaching can bring clients to a new level. She did mini-readings for two women who were in the audience and her mystery question revealed something involving her childhood….(drumroll)
My own experience with learning self-love was a long road. I didn’t even know how self-loathing I truly was until over the last two years when I realized I had never told myself I loved me. Have you tried looking in the mirror, right in your own eyes, and then saying “I love you” and actually meaning it? If you are honest with yourself you’ll admit that it isn’t easy.
Self-Love Requires Honesty, Ask Julie McAllister
In the group coaching work that I do I always ask “Do you like yourself?” Almost invariably everyone nods their heads ‘yes”. I then ask “Do you love yourself?” and again, with a full on head bob they answer “Oh yes, I really love myself.” Now think about this- you’re in coaching because life is too hard and you aren’t making headway. Do you honestly love yourself at a soul level? This, I believe, is what Julie McAllister was talking about.
When you know love, when you honestly have that deep bliss inside of yourself life gets very easy. It’s the flow that so many are missing. It’s when everything lines up for you without any effort. Loving yourself means the voices in your head serve your success rather than your failure.
It’s big work. I support Julie’s work and her message and hope you will find her as inspiring as I do. A magical and powerful woman, her services will take you into blissfully mad self-love.
The Spreecast below is about 45 minutes in length. Enjoy our interaction and take a chance on self-love.
For updates on Tam TV and for additional tidbits on science, spirituality, and mindset management please join the Creating Change Inbox Ezine: www.choosebigchange.com
Thank you for playing along, self-love coach Julie McAllister. Julie has tagged two other potential guests. I’ll be contacting them to see if they can join me for episode 2 of Tam TV- a Tag Team Growth Show.
It’s true, the VIP isn’t the only man with a message for this teacher. The gentleman I bumped into and speak of in this video had something to say. Our meeting was more than mere chance, synchronicity played it’s part.
The Man With A Message Left An Impression
“Do all things with love, or just don’t do them.”
It’s a shame that I didn’t take the time to look at his card before we parted ways. I’d have liked to thank him for his generosity in spreading what he knows to be his truth. The man, by the way, is eighty years young. He was teasing his young bride (his eighty year old wife of fifty plus years) and egging me on with jokes and witticisms. He had much more life in him than many people one third of his age. The best part was that he was living his message of doing things with love.
I sensed that not only does he believe in that mantra, he takes action toward living it.He clearly has a sense of what the French call joie de vivre or “joy of living”.
This quick video of me, Tam I Am Veilleux, asks for you to just consider that maybe you are okay right where you are at.
Our belief systems run the show. If you are constantly struggling to get somewhere in life, be bigger, run smoother and you feel you have not yet arrived, you are creating resistance. Your belief system is not set to think that where your at is okay for now. Sometimes you just need to be okay. If you can believe that maybe “here and now” and “as is” serves a purpose, doesn’t that just take the pressure off? I hope so.
Create change by resting into neutral. Let go and let yourself grow through the natural process of rejuvenation.
Watch the video. Give it some thought and post your comment below.
Create change! Learn the “ABC’s of Getting Unstuck”. Join me, Tam I Am Veilleux, on a one hour Spreecast. It’s *FREE*for you! I’ll be live at 9 pm EST. Join my spreecast here: Tam I Am’s Spreecast Channel.
Tapping into change is easy. Camera shy? Prefer the phone? Dial in to this number: 605-475-4000, use pin # 522309#
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous” Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are meant to shine, as children do.”
I’ve loved this quote since I first read Marianne Williamson’s book “A Return To Love” back in 2008. I recall coming across these words in print and breaking into tears as the truth of the message hit me fully. You see, so many suffer by staying small.
Not me, not any longer.
This weekend I was fortunate enough to be a chosen speaker for the first annual Transform 2013 event. This two day affair was meant to draw people into creating change.
The room was filled with people of all levels of intelligence, wealth and well-being and the program ranged from a life coach expounding on the benefit of knowing your personal values, to breathwork and sound, philanthropy, the power of love, using archetypes to understand how people process transfiguration, meditation, parenting, numerology and of course there was me. I spoke about our belief systems and how they either serve you or they don’t.I also spoke of EFT (tapping).
As a trainer and speaker it is my goal to get people to choose change. I want them to choose to look into their belief systems, to opt for a better way of thinking. I do my professional best to be witty yet smart and I keep it super simple so that everyone can gain something.
Quite honestly, it’s nerve wracking to be on stage. I’d be lying to say otherwise. My tummy gets nervous jitters and at times, my knees literally shake, however, not at the Transform 2013 event. The room was so filled with genuine love that I had not an ounce of interior pain.
That was this weekend, when I played big and loud. But, I used to play small. I used to want to “blend in”. It was only through years of personal development and journeying into my soul (which remains ongoing) that I began to step out.
You know what I discovered? Playing big feels really good. Challenging myself to touch more people feels amazing. Smiling and meaning it, offering authentic compassion and a bit of “sparkle” as one friend calls it- helps me to feel like I am making the world a better place. I share my message and use Marianne Williamson’s words to goad me to playing bigger.
It should not have surprised me when I came off the stage following my 45 minute presentation and was approached by one of the other speakers. He walked right up to me, made eye contact, and reached for my hand. “Wow!” he said, “I believed every word out of your mouth. That was terrific!” Mind you, this man has been in the personal development field for over twenty years. I respect him. His words meant to much to me. He reached in his pocket to hand me what I thought would be his business card.
Ha! Never try to guess what message the Universe has in store for you. This new peer of mine handed me a laminated card with Ms. Williamson’s quote on it. He pointed to the line that says “Your playing small does not serve the world.” He looked me in the eye and said “You are not playing small.”
It was hard not shed tears. Without his knowing he validated me in a way that resonated deeply.
If you are still playing small then I encourage you to ask yourself why. Do you want to play big? Have you considered what someone else may be missing because you are playing small? Is change nipping at your heels?
YOUR ACTION STEP: Get unstuck. Begin the process of change by picking up meaningful books that help you journey into your soul. I highly recommend “A Return To Love” as a great place to learn love again. Figure out what is going on inside of you that you want to share with the world. We all have something to share. Every one of us is born with gifts that the world needs. It may be mothering. It could be creating massive social change. You may be the north west’s best perennial gardener. Whatever your gift to the world may be, dig deep and figure out what it is, and why you want to offer it. I hope you will begin today. Gentle reminder: don’t play small, play big.
Today I’m posting a short video for you to make you think a bit about where you’re at. These days it’s all about getting unstuck.
What will it take for you to be okay today? I find that the sooner you go from glum to neutral, things shift. How do you do that? You put on music and dance. Pat your dog. Go for a walk. Take a nap. Do anything you can to change the energy you are in and then BE OKAY. It’s important that you accept where you are in life and figure out how to be happy regardless of the external circumstances.
“If you can’t change something, change how you think about it.” That is wise advice from one of my favorite artists, Mary Engelbriet.
PART THREE OF “GETTING UNSTUCK, MY FIVE MINUTES TO FREEDOM”
In Part 1 of this series I started the process of sharing with you my true life story of the gut wrenching pain of having an addicted son and my decision to choose change.
In Part 2 I shared my process and my progress. I was visualizing, tapping, talking to myself and praying daily for my son’s safety all the while planning what I hoped would be my best day ever, my wedding…Would my son show up to walk me down the aisle or not? The history wasn’t good, he had never managed to overcome that fear before…
My autumn wedding day came, and though he and I were in constant contact, I still had not received a phone call from my son as to whether or not he would actually show up for the 5 pm ceremony. As guests arrived I searched the yard for him relentlessly while smiling at my family and friends. “Let it go” I reminded myself. “It’s his choice.” But I knew inside that his absence would taint my joy, no matter how hard I tried not to let it.
Half an hour before the ceremony start time I was standing on the farmer’s porch decked out with sunflowers and pumpkins when another car pulled in. My son smiled and waved to me from the back seat.
I covered my mouth as a big sob erupted. Change really was in the air.
When our dear friend strummed his guitar to signal the beginning of the event, sunflower and white rose bouquet in hand, my proud father and my prouder son each took an arm and walked me to my future. From my perspective it was exactly as I had played it out in my head hundreds of time before. My son was on my right hand side, wearing white, beaming from ear to ear. He was with me as I walked toward my circle of family and friends and a husband-to-be who had strongly supported my vision of letting go and creating change. He would be the lucky recipient of a wife free from the chains of parenting a drug addict. A woman who chose change for herself and took steps to make it happen.
The rest of the day and evening was a joyous blur. My fairy tale became a very real circumstance as I stepped into committed partnership with a man I love and respect and let go of allowing pain to consume me. Today I am living my version of “happily ever after”.
Our story still holds a lot of emotion. I still shed tears as I recall it, but not so much for the pain we endured as a family as much as for the joyful place we are all at now.
Change is not for the faint of heart. It takes courage, strength and persistence. It includes pain a majority of the time. I know that I experienced a great deal of pain. I know that my son is dealing with his own pain, too, facing his demons. I know that change will be ongoing for both of us as we uncover who he really is and what he truly wants from life. I look forward to watching him dream big and fully live life.
What if I were too lazy, too tired, too confused to change my patterns and habits around my son? What if I had continued to enable him while disabling myself? I shudder at the thought, I guarantee that my husband does, too. He had been the one enduring sleepless nights and long pain filled days alongside of me.
And my son, what if he had been too lazy, too tired, too confused to change? Would he still be with me today sending me text messages that say “I love you, Mom.” I hope so, but I can’t honestly know. Thankfully, we both reached a place that we couldn’t tolerate.
I chose change in five minute bursts through the day in the form of visualizing and attaching emotion to it. I used five minute intervals to “tap” and let go of old memories. Five minutes of focused attention on creating something new while I let go of something old.
I used a “fake it till you make it” approach. You should recall from part two that it wasn’t warm and fuzzy when I first began. As I conjured the image of my son at my side it was hard. At first I could only see his left arm wearing a white shirt and my own hand holding his elbow. As I stuck to the image and worked on believing in it, I eventually could look up to his chest and neck and then as I worked on this image, his full face came into view. Finally, after weeks of practice, I saw his eyes sparkling and his wonderfully crooked smile. Adding the emotions came easy by then.
Five minutes, as often as possible. It began a rampage of change for me. Knowing what I know about energy and the invisible grid we live in, I firmly believe that my positive pictures of him helped fuel his lust for a new way of being. It was a silent support that helped him daily.
For those of you screaming “I want to change” but still have tons of reasons (insert the words ‘excuses’) why you cannot begin the process of a new way of thinking and being, I remind you of the Albert Einstein quote “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same result.” Been there done that, folks, burned the t-shirt already. Change is the only thing that can create a different result.
Back to the reason I wrote this story: To the women in the training classes who were “too busy” and “over tasked” and “over scheduled” and “too skeptical” to implement the change tools I’d been working on with them I asked point-blank: “So how do you like where you are right now? How have your patterns and behaviors served you?” Nobody jumped off their seat to defend themselves.
I openly challenged the skeptics. It was an in-your-face approach to the excuse makers, too.
I asked them could they give up five minutes of FaceBook or YouTube videos? Could they spend quality time tapping, writing, creating affirmations instead of just killing time?
It’s a quick decision. You want to be stuck or you don’t.
Get unstuck. Creating change takes five minutes a day to begin. You can keep adding to your practice in five minute chunks until you have permanently shifted your belief system into supporting you.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
Get a notebook, two times a day hand write five things you liked about your day. I dare you to begin this practice! Notice how as you go about your day you start making mental notes of good things to write down later when you are near your notebook.
Don’t feel like smiling? Hold a pencil in your teeth across your bite, the fake smile that happens when you do this reminds your brain to make you happier, just like when you create a real smile. The physical smile triggers the brain to send neurotransmitter chemicals to make you “feel happy”.
Find a memory that you love, one where you were truly happy, dwell on it regularly throughout the day. Be sure to make the memory about your own happiness- do not make it contingent on someone else being present. Focus on how you felt in the moment. Go there regularly. I call it the “insert happy memory now” method.
Learn to tap. Emotional Freedom Technique is the new and powerful way to neutralize the negative emotions in our cellular structure. Scientific studies everywhere are providing statistics that show amazing results for our bodies and minds
Create an image of your future that you want to see be real. Use my story as a guideline. Your brain loves images- tell it what to strive for.
Clip pictures of everything you want to be, do or have and keep them nearby. Look at them regularly and imagine yourself having it all.
Use the “delete” button to cancel words or thoughts that don’t serve your future. Stop the patterns that keep you under the thumb of the giant called STUCK.
When you begin sending out more dopamine to your brain you’ll eventually choose change over excuses.When you start liking the happiness that creeps into your day you’ll choose journaling over excuses. As soon as you get used to feeling healthy you’ll choose taking a walk over sitting around and making excuses.
Until then, you are five minutes away from creating change.